Christian Therapist for women with anxiety and trauma throughout CA & TX
Why You Should Choose a Trauma Therapist in Houston for Your Healing Journey
You’ve been through so much trauma and pain. All you want is to feel like yourself again, but you have no idea where to start or what to do about it. The good thing is that with the right trauma therapist in Houston, you can indeed experience transformation like you’ve never seen before.
You’ve been through so much trauma and pain. All you want is to feel like yourself again, but you have no idea where to start or what to do about it. The good thing is that with the right trauma therapist in Houston, you can indeed experience transformation like you’ve never seen before.
Before you say “Therapy takes too much time and probably doesn’t work,” I’d like to introduce you to a cutting edge method of trauma healing called brainspotting. It can typically cut down the amount of time you spend in therapy, it goes straight to the deepest layers of your brain where trauma and difficult emotions are stored, and you don’t have to give your therapist a play by play of what happened to you if you don’t want to.
What Does a Trauma Therapist in Houston Do?
The role of a trauma therapist is to guide you in a (hopefully) gentle way so that you are able to work through the traumatic memories and digest them. The outcome should be that those memories no longer haunt you, and you begin to feel as close to normal as possible. We do not promise you that your memory would be wiped clean. Nope. But the desired outcome is that you will be able to live a full life, the constant anxiety will quiet down, healthy relationships will be restored and trauma no longer consumes you.
There are many methods of healing trauma. There is talk therapy, in which you discuss the details of the issue over and over again until it no longer bothers you so much. There is talk therapy in which you don’t necessarily have to go into detail, but you work on the after effects of the trauma- not being able to stand up for yourself, avoiding certain things or people, fear, anxiety, irritability, etc.
There is also non traditional therapy (ike brainspotting and EMDR) in which you’re targeting your brain- which is where traumatic memories and feelings are stored.
It is important that therapy be personalized for you. In my practice, I do not use brainspotting for all people. I’m a therapist, NOT a dictator. Some people prefer talk therapy, some prefer a more hybrid model, and some want strict brainspotting. We do what works for you.
Why Brainspotting is a Game-Changer for Trauma Therapy
I love that brainspotting is not only gentle, but it is also effective. You don’t have to jump through a lot of hoops to get started. After the first assessment session, I jump right into it from session 2. I prep you verbally for a few minutes and then I step back to let your brain do its thing.
Brainspotting essentially utilizes your eye gaze to help you target the specific areas of the brain where trauma is stored. Once you gain access, you can now process then digest the trauma.
You see when trauma is stuck in your brain, you feel the effects- jumpiness, tearfulness, anxiety, anger, dissociation, body aches and pains etc. Wouldn’t it be nice to finally clear out those places where trauma has been locked?
It helps you get to the root of the trauma faster. That means less time in therapy and you can go ahead with your happy life sooner.
Why Choose a Trauma Therapist in Houston: The Local Advantage
When you work with a therapist who is local, they get the culture you are a part of. The Houston area is such a unique place that people from other places might just not understand things like how it takes 20 minutes to drive just 5 miles! (Make it make sense).
It is also important to choose a trauma therapist who gets all the other parts of you- ethnicity, religion, gender, marital status, parenting status, etc. Because you have to feel like your therapist is a great match for you- or else, you won’t be able to open up.
I absolutely love working with highly sensitive Christian women who feel like they have to hold their entire family up. I get their unique needs.
What to Expect from Your Healing Journey with a Trauma Therapist in Houston
The therapy processs starts before the first session. You are on Google, trying to find the right fit. With me, I offer a free 15-minute consultation call.
I learn how you want to be supported, what has worked so far, what hasn't worked, and we discuss the way I work. If we decide we are a great match, then during our first virtual session, I get to know you more.
We’ll go through your spiritual, educational, career, relational and emotional background. All these areas help me better understand how to personalize therapy for you.
During the second session, we jump into brainspotting. While using my pointer, we decide what traumatic experience to focus on. You’ll start to process through the event as if it was happening again. You might cry or feel tense while it’s happening, but if you give it some time, you’ll start to feel a sense of relief and peace. Your own body will guide you.
Essentially we open the door in your mind that has been holding back traumatic memories, As you walk through the door, the memories will have less and less of a hold on you.
It sounds more complicated than it really is.
How to Find the Right Trauma Therapist in Houston for You
It is important to pick the therapist you feel most comfortable with. You can do a Google search, use a therapy directory or ask around. Chances are you know a few friends who have seen an amazing therapist lately.
My best advice is to check out the therapist’s website first. This gives you an idea of their personality, their background, training, fees etc. I am biased but I recommend brainspotting if you are specifically trying to work through trauma.
Next, schedule a free consultation call if the therapist offers it. This gives you a chance to hear their voice and ask whatever questions are on your mind. I tend to be a very transparent therapist who sees myself as your guide- NOT your boss. I believe you have the answers if I ask you the right questions.
Don’t forget to ask them how they work. Will you meet weekly? Biweekly? Monthly? Etc. My preference is to see my clients weekly to start with. This helps create some rapid progress.
If the therapist doesn’t work out for you, don’t suffer through it. Simply go through the process again and find someone new. Sometimes it takes a few tries, but the right therapist is out there waiting for you.
Ready to take control of your healing journey with a brainspotting trauma therapist in Houston? Schedule a free 15-minute consultation call so you can experience the transformative power of brainspotting trauma therapy firsthand!
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
What to do when people call you “Weird.”
One of the biggest struggles that highly sensitive people experience is that their emotions are constantly being invalidated by loved ones and close relatives. It appears that they are misunderstood at every turn. When you're highly sensitive, it is very difficult to actually show up as your true self – especially if that true self is seen as unacceptable or strange to the people around you.
One of the biggest struggles that highly sensitive people experience is that their emotions are constantly being invalidated by loved ones and close relatives. It appears that they are misunderstood at every turn. When you're highly sensitive, it is very difficult to actually show up as your true self – especially if that true self is seen as unacceptable or strange to the people around you.
So highly sensitive people often learn how to mask who they are. They are one person when they are alone, and when they leave their houses and show up in public spaces, they become someone else. Now because high sensitivity comes with deep emotional processing, the process of noticing subtle details in the world, while trying to regulate your emotions, while trying to hide said emotions, can lead to a heap of overwhelm.
And sometimes, it starts at a young age. The kids in the school yard notice that you are a little bit different. Or maybe because you have such a keen sense of observation, you notice that you are different than the people around you. Then someone says something to you. The word ‘Weird’ is thrown around. You then go on a journey to prove to others that you are not indeed weird.
You study the world around you so that you can ‘Adapt’ and ‘Assimilate.’ It seems to work, but as you get older, there is an incongruence. Your heart wants you to be one way, while your head tells you to be someone different. You learn how to excuse yourself before tears stream down your face. Because you know crying in public is forbidden. You learn to ignore rude comments that people make about your sensitivity. But it takes a toll.
Do you know that your life does not have to be that way? It’s possible to enjoy your sensitivity and stand up for yourself when people talk down to you.
Here are some suggestions:
1) Reframe what ‘weird’ means
People tend to be afraid of what they do not understand. And when they are not afraid of what they do not understand, they tend to dismiss what they do not understand.
Remember that highly sensitive people only make up about 20 to 30% of the population, so the other 70 to 80% of the population probably have no idea why you react the way that you do. They have no idea how deep your feelings are and how strong your empathy is. Whenever somebody calls you weird, remind yourself that you are not indeed weird, you are just unique- an outlier. Outliers are misunderstood.
2) Sit with your feelings
Even if you have spent most of your life being ignored on invalidated, it is important to start to validate your own feelings. It is OK to allow yourself to be sad or angry or frustrated. Many highly sensitive people have had to push down their feelings to make other people more comfortable. But it is time to allow yourself to begin to feel a myriad of feelings aside from just joy.
3) Stand up for yourself
A big part of healing as a highly sensitive adult is learning how to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. And when I say stand up for yourself, I do not mean being rude or yelling at other people. They are great ways to set boundaries without actually raising your voice or going out of your natural character. For example, if somebody calls you "weird." It is perfectly OK for you to say "I find that statement insulting.” Even if they do not apologize or feel remorse for hurting your feelings, it is still important to stand up for yourself.
There you have it. Three ways to begin to address others when they call you weird. If you're a highly sensitive woman who is tired of putting your needs on the back burner and you're ready to learn more about your sensitivity, get rid of overwhelm and finally learn how to stand up for yourself, click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call with me.
I’m a Black therapist in Houston who helps women like you finally learn how to get your needs met without compromising who you are.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali.
I teach highly sensitive women how to stand up for themselves, set clear, kind boundaries and create solid relationships.
Many of my clients are:
Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust
If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.
Overwhelmed? Here's how to quickly calm your highly sensitive brain
One of the biggest struggles of high sensitivity is the constant feeling of overwhelm. Because you feel so deeply and you are processing stimuli around you so much, it is quite easy to fall into the trap of constant overwhelm.
Overwhelm isn’t something we can escape altogether, because everyone has seasons in which they are pulled to absolute capacity. However, when we are in those seasons, there are ways to take a step back and regain our calm.
Here’s how:
1) Turn off as much stimulation as you can
One of the fastest ways to quiet an overwhelmed mind is to turn off as much stimulation as you can. Think of your five senses.
If the lights around you are super bright, consider dimming them or moving to a space with very low light. If there's a lot of sound around you, turn some of it off. This could be your computer, your phone, your TV, or just step away for a moment from all the noise around you.
If you're wearing multiple layers or your clothing feels itchy or uncomfortable, it might be time to change into something more comfortable if you are able to do so. Turning off the immediate stimulation helps to quiet down some of the noise so that you can move through the other steps I'm about to talk about.
2) Do a positive replay of your day
If you are feeling completely overwhelmed, it might be time to think about what went well that day. Run your mind through some of the positive aspects of the day. This is the opposite of what we typically do- we think about everything we have going on and what is going wrong. Focus on 1 positive thing.
3) Get some sleep or rest
I have always had an obsession with sleep. One of the quickest ways to reset is just to lay down and close your eyes. Even if you're not able to sleep, just give your body a chance to restart or shut off for a moment. Power naps are typically helpful if you're able to do so, or just sit somewhere quiet and close your eyes for a while. When you're doing this, try really hard not to think about everything that you have going on. Just focus on the world around you think of sights, sounds and smells. Music can help to relax the mind and body.
4) Call a friend
One of the biggest traps that introverted highly sensitive people will fall into is the trap of isolation. When you have tried to unspiral yourself and it is not successful, it is very important that you have someone safe who you can turn to. This person does not even have to be highly sensitive, they just have to be somebody who is full of empathy. You can even pick a codeword with a friend. And the friend will just fill you with positivity, and help you shift your mind in a different direction. The goal is not for them to lie to you, the goal is just to help you shift your mind so that you can take a break and then go back into calm shape.
You in turn have to be comfortable with vulnerability and asking for help.
And there you have it. 4 simple ways to nip overwhelm in the bud.
Ready to master your sensitivity so you can reduce overwhelm, stand up for yourself and set better boundaries? Click here to schedule your free 15-min consult call.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali.
I teach highly sensitive women how to stand up for themselves, set clear, kind boundaries and create solid relationships.
Many of my clients are:
Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust
If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.
Ready to get rid of anxiety, finally kick insomnia or for marriage counseling?