Christian Therapist for women with anxiety and trauma throughout CA & TX
4 common triggers for high sensitivity and how to manage them
Overwhelm is something you are all too familiar with. Your thoughts race constantly, you struggle to make easy decisions, or you find yourself regularly bursting into tears. It’s quite possible you are being triggered by one of these 4 things. Never fear, I’ve also included some ways to manage these triggers.
Overwhelm is something you are all too familiar with. Your thoughts race constantly, you struggle to make seemingly easy decisions, or you find yourself regularly bursting into tears. It’s quite possible you are being triggered by one of these 4 things. Never fear, I’ve also included some ways to manage these triggers.
Remember that high sensitivity is not a disorder. It’s simply a part of who you are, and you can thrive once you understand it.
Not sure whether or not you are highly sensitive? Click here.
Here are 4 common triggers for highly sensitive people
1) Moving too fast
We live in a world in which things are moving faster and faster all the time. People are multitasking constantly- we even boast about getting 4 hours of sleep while juggling 3 businesses, 9 kids and a husband. As a highly sensitive woman, you might feel less than because you might not have the bandwidth to sustain such a lifestyle.
A life that moves at the speed of light can be a big trigger for highly sensitive people. Does that mean you can never become an ER physician or some other career that entails moving fast? Nope. It just means that you have to put systems in place that allow to care for yourself while in busy seasons.
This is where schedules and routines come in handy. Before rushing out in the morning, take a few minutes to get ready for the hectic day. Your cup has to be filled so that it doesn’t completely empty out.
That can look like:
Having a good breakfast (hunger is a BIG trigger for us HSPs)
Ensuring you get enough sleep at night
Starting the day off slowly in prayer or Bible study (rather than with the TV, news or emails)
Talking on the phone with an encouraging friend
Prioritizing certain tasks, rather than trying to juggle too many things at once
Learning to set good boundaries and say “No” when you are at capacity
2) Not enough alone time
Did you know that most highly sensitive people are introverts? Yup! But even if you are a highly sensitive extrovert, alone time is priceless. This is because of how highly sensitive people spend so much time deeply processing the world around them.
By the end of the day, it becomes so much that reducing stimulation is a great way to recharge.
What can that look like?
Taking a few minutes to sit in the car to breathe and reset before facing the many people who depend on you at home.
Have a ‘me time’ routine- which could look like whatever feels good to you- watching TV, reading, sewing, working out, sitting in silence (my favorite), etc. You make the rules. Try different things and see what works for you.
3) Hanging out with the wrong people
I am convinced that every highly sensitive person needs at least one healthy highly sensitive friend in their life. This does not mean that highly sensitive people are superior to non-highly sensitive people, it just means that it is sometimes nice to not have to explain yourself to others.
And it does not mean that all highly sensitive people are the same- we could still have disagreements, as not every highly sensitive person is necessarily empathetic or kind.
But when you constantly hang out with people who question your sensitivity, who speak unkindly to you, who make you feel small, or who dismiss your feelings, you will be triggered all day long.
So what do you do about this?
Take stock of the relationships you currently have.
Do they serve you well or is it just a one-way street? Do you feel happier when you are around your closest friends? Or do you have to pretend to be someone you are not? Remember that you have a voice and choice.
Do a friendship edit.
Once you have taken stock of the people around you, decide which ones are healthy, and which ones are not. You definitely will know people who are unhealthy, because they are the ones whose phone calls you dread taking. They also the ones you can be authentic with. Decide what you want to do with those relationships, do you want to continue to suffer, or are you able to speak to that person about how they hurt you? A safe friend listens and adjusts accordingly.
4) Ignoring your physical needs
Highly sensitive people tend to be more triggered by sickness, hunger and tiredness than their non sensitive colleagues. In a bid to want to ‘push through’ and ‘hustle,’ sometimes we ignore actual physical needs.
The fix?
Stop skipping meals- even if everyone seems to do so.
Take breaks when possible- again, even if others think you are ‘lazy’ or ‘low energy.’
Take care of yourself when you aren’t feeling well. It’s okay to seek medical attention and NOT push through.
And there you have it.
Ready to ditch the constant overwhelm, finally learn how to stand up for yourself and finally make high sensitivity your super power? Click here to schedule a consultation call.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I am a licensed therapist and coach in Houston.
I teach highly sensitive women how to stand up for themselves, set clear, kind boundaries and create solid relationships.
Many of my clients are:
Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust
If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.
Questions to ask a prospective Christian marriage counselor
Perhaps you have been thinking about going to marriage counseling. But you’re not crazy about going to your pastor. However, you would prefer someone who is professionally trained in marriage counseling.
Because your Christian faith is very important to you, you would rather meet with a Christian counselor in Houston or a Christian marriage therapist in Houston.
Here are some questions you should ask a prospective Christian marriage counselor to let you know if they are the best marriage therapist for you.
You’ve been thinking about going to marriage counseling. But you don’t want to go to the church or your pastor.
Because your Christian faith is very important to you, you would rather meet with a Christian counselor in Houston or a Christian marriage therapist in Houston who is also a licensed therapist.
Here are some questions you should ask a prospective Christian marriage counselor to let you know if they are the best marriage therapist in Houston for you.
Do you include faith and scripture in your marriage counseling sessions?
There's a difference between a marriage counselor who is a Christian and a Christian marriage counselor. Some marriage counselors are Christians, however they do not actually integrate Christian faith or scripture into their counseling work.
Christian marriage counselors in Houston on the other hand, feel much more comfortable speaking about Jesus in session, pointing you towards scripture, as well as exploring your Christian faith while integrating that into the marriage counseling process.
It is important to ask prospective marriage counselors whether or not they feel comfortable integrating your Christian faith into the therapy.
What are your faith belief systems/doctrinal beliefs?
The term ‘Christian’ is very broad. Some people are very conservative, while others are pretty liberal. There are so many different Christian denominations and doctrines out there. It is important that you find a Christian marriage therapist whose Christian beliefs are probably similar to yours.
Ensure that both you and the Christian marriage counselor in Houston share similar beliefs, so that they do not point you in the wrong direction or in a direction that you do not feel comfortable going into.
How often will we meet for marriage counseling sessions?
It is important to know what to expect so that you can put it on your schedule. Some Christian marriage therapists in Houston will meet with you once a week, while others can meet with you every other week. Ensure that you know how long the sessions will last. Some Christian couples therapists do 45 minute sessions, while others will do a 90-minute session.
What will Christian marriage counseling sessions look like?
Every Christian therapist is unique. Some will only meet with the couple. While others will meet with each party independently. Will there be prayer involved? Will there be homework involved? Will the therapy favor one person over the other? Just ask away, so you have some clarity before jumping in.
Do you interpret scripture during Christian marriage counseling sessions?
My personal belief is that it is not my job to interpret scripture. I believe that it is the Holy Spirit who does the work in your heart and convicts you. I however will point you in the direction of a scripture and we can explore what that scripture means to you and your spouse.
However, you might be looking for a Christian couples therapist in Houston who does interpret scripture and who does give you the understanding of what the scripture means. This is why it is important to have this conversation with a prospective Christian therapist in the first place. You want to ensure that the therapy is moving in the direction that you expect it to.
What are your Christian beliefs about the role of a husband and a wife?
This basic belief can color the entire process of Christian Marriage counseling. There are some Christians who believe that a husband is the ultimate authority and he is able to be borderline abusive towards his wife.
There are other Christians who absolutely do not believe this and believe that the man and the wife should be loving and kind towards his wife.
Ask the Christian marriage therapist in Houston what their beliefs are about the role of the husband and the wife. You do not want to pour gasoline on an already burning fire.
Apprehension is normal
If you are new to marriage counseling or Christian marriage counseling in Houston, it is normal to feel a little bit of apprehension before you jump in. My recommendation is that you create a short list of marriage counselors that you feel comfortable with.
Ask for a consultation
After doing this, ask to schedule a free consultation call so that you can get more of a feel for their personality and their beliefs.
Ask yourself what you need in a Christian marriage counselor before you begin. Do you have a specific gender? Christian denomination? Age range? Race? Ethnicity? Language spoke? You and your spouse have to be comfortable for marriage counseling or couples therapy to be effective.
If you're ready to start the process of healing and greater communication in your marriage, click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call with me. I am a Black Christian marriage counselor in the Houston area. I see married couples throughout California and Texas. Please remember that as long as you and your spouse are willing, you can have the marriage of your dreams.
About the Author
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Misconceptions about Christian marriage counseling
If you’ve never been to a Christian marriage counselor in Houston, you might be confused about what it actually is. Perhaps you might be wondering, “Why don’t I just go to speak to a friend or a pastor?” I’m here to clear up some of the misconceptions around what Christian marriage counseling in Houston is.
Here are some popular myths about Christian marriage counseling.
If you’ve never been to a Christian marriage counselor in Houston, you might be confused about what it actually is. Perhaps you might be wondering, “Why don’t I just go to speak to a friend or a pastor?” I’m here to clear up some of the misconceptions around what Christian marriage counseling in Houston is.
Here are some popular myths about Christian marriage counseling.
Christian counseling is the same as speaking to your pastor
Pastors are experts in the Bible, teaching and service to others. Most pastors do not actually have training or a background in human behavior and mental health counseling. Most pastors also do not have training in mental health and trauma. Chances are if you or your spouse is experiencing depression, anxiety, OCD, an eating disorder or an addiction, your pastor won’t know what to do with that.
And that is the advantage of going to a Christian marriage counselor in Houston.
You're able to get the integration of your Christian faith, as well as the years of experience in all of the aforementioned areas. We are able to work with you on previous trauma, exploring emotions, effective communication skills, friendship, intimacy as well as whatever other mental health issues you might be struggling with. I am not against going to your pastor, however sometimes the marital issues are way beyond what your pastor can handle.
The only thing that Christian marriage counselors do is read Bible scripture to you
This is probably the biggest misconception about Christian marriage counseling in Houston. Most people assume that the Christian counselor will open up scripture, read it to you and send you on your merry way. While the marriage counselor could use the Bible to frame the counseling sessions, you'll be learning actual tools to help you communicate better with your spouse and repair what has been broken.
You'll also learn why certain behaviors came to be, how your past and your environment affect your relationship, as well as practical tips to help you improve your relationship.
Christian marriage counseling in Houston is not the same as listening to a sermon. if you’re currently working with a Christian marriage counselor in Houston who just preaches at you, but does not give you practical tools to work through your struggles, please run! NOW!
Christian MARRIAGE counselors blame the wife for everything
Christian Marriage Counseling not about the blame game. I am yet to see a relationship or a marriage in which one party is to blame for everything. A skilled Christian marriage counselor will spend time getting to know both parties, getting to understand your mental health needs, and helping you identify your part in the relationship. The goal is to create a system of accountability- not judgment or blame.
Christian marriage counselors just give you advice and tell you not to get divorced
First of all, it is not the role of a Christian marriage counselor in Houston to give you advice. We simply lay the foundation to help you communicate your needs and wants to your partner in an appropriate way. We teach you skills to increase friendship, trust, and improve your bond. It is not our job to tell you whether or not to get divorced. We don’t even give you advice. That decision is completely up to you and your spouse.
Christian marriage counselors only work with Christians
I often get calls asking me if I work with people who are not Christians. The answer is yes. It is not my job to indoctrinate anyone. It is also not my job to force anybody to believe what I believe. I only integrate Christian faith into marriage counseling when my clients actually want me to do so.
So as you see, Christian marriage counseling does not have to be a terrifying thing. The best Christian marriage counselors in Houston have a strong background in mental health and are able to integrate the Christian faith without blaming, shaming, indoctrination and intimidation.
If you are ready to finally learn how to communicate your feelings clearly and honestly to your spouse, I am a Black Christian marriage counselor in the Houston area. Click here to schedule your free 15-min consultation call. Your marriage does not have to be a constant struggle. it can actually be much easier than you think.
About the Author
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Ready to get rid of anxiety, finally kick insomnia or for marriage counseling?